A Patience Leader

I have this problem…

I want children in my home to comply with my wishes. Sounds funny I know…What Mom wouldn’t want her kids to obey? I try so hard to get them to WANT what I want. I set up the moment by stating what is about to happen. You know how it goes; “In five minutes we’re going to turn the movie off and start homework.” “When we start our homework in two minutes you’ll need to be finished with your snack.” We set up the moment for transition.

Then it’s time.
No one moves.
No one gets going (cricket, cricket).
Within me, my preparedness to get the kids to obey unravels quickly. Then it happens. My type-A, controlling personality emerges and a firmness overtakes the conversation.
Kids begin to move.
They obey because of my controlling tone not out of their desire to follow me.
As a result, although they obeyed, I am not pleased nor satisfied with the way they obeyed.

[Not that it is like this everyday but it happens enough that I could articulate the example without much mental searching.]

What spiritual example am I displaying for my children; that it’s okay to give God push-back? You don’t have to obey God until He gets firm and demanding with you? Is there a way I could lead my children better so they learn to listen to the Lord and feel motivated to follow Him rather than be pushed by Him?

I thought of one specific characteristic I needed (at this time) as a mother leading children and realized this same characteristics must be prevalent in the leader of ministry teams.

As I teach my children to obey…follow, I must be patient. Patience for a strong controlling leader is not always easy (Think about it…type-A leaders want to be right all the time and be in control all the time…oooh that even hurts to write!). As I prayed about my thoughts, the Lord gave me some characteristics of patience.

To be patient I must:
Be STRATEGIC…… Think ahead
Be Motivated……By the end results
GIVE ENOUGH TIME……for my followers to do what I want them to accomplish
RECOGNIZE DIVERSITY……there is more than one way to accomplish something.
Be GRACE-GIVING……realize I may not be right in my idea or my timing.
Be willing to RELEASE……Sometimes my kids (or people on my team) can’t do what I THINK they can. I may need to release the expectations I have placed on them.

Here’s my prayer. If you can identify with what I’m saying, maybe you can echo this for yourself:

Lord, help me lead well FIRST in my home. Help me not be driven by impatience and the need for control. I desire to develop children who see you as a patient motivating leader they WANT to follow.

I’m going to look at my list above and see which I can focus on today.


About wegrowministries

Rhonda Haslett BA, MA in Children’s and Family Ministries. A veteran in ministry to children and teens. Consultant, Author and Conference Speaker Founder of: •WeGrowMinistries.com, a consultation organization to equip and release ministers •''Pasta Roni & Friends,'' an evangelistic ministry to children and families. She encourages, equips and empowers ministers of both teens and children through consultation, hands on experience as well as her written curriculum and resources. She is a contributor and board member to CoryCenter.org,Children’s Ministry website. She and her husband are currently youth pastors in Indianapolis, IN where they along with their 4 children reside.
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